A good thunderstorm.

Here’s what I love: a good thunder storm.

I was afraid of the dark as a child. I was also afraid of our house catching fire and burning to the ground. Later, I battled fears that one of my parents would commit suicide. In Junior High, I used to awake screaming and sweating from a recurring dream I had where I was running from a giant A&W Root Beer can rolling towards me sort of like that big boulder in Indian Jones (terrifying, I know!) Even today, I am very afraid of bugs of all kinds. 

BUT, I am not afraid of thunder storms. Once when I was in college, I was on a retreat out in West Texas somewhere and my friends and I silently watched a lightning storm make it’s way towards us. From the hill-top porch of the retreat center, we could see every flash of lightning and feel the booming thunder shaking the window panes. I loved it.

Maybe I should be more afraid of thunder and lightning. My second grade smarty pants daughter informed me recently that lighting can be like 5 times hotter than the surface of the sun. Certainly, I have a healthy respect for storms. I wouldn’t run out in a flat field carrying a metal pole in the middle of a lightning storm or anything. But, I always thought thunder and lightning to be something God created and since I knew God intimately, I felt like even if I was washed away in a hurricane, I’d either survive it or get to meet Him face to face, so I’ve never been a nervous Nelly when a storm rolls in.

However, a few nights ago, right when Alexis was trying to go to sleep, a big storm was in the area. She is somewhat afraid of thunder and lightning, so I sat with her. She was snuggled in under her pink diamond quilt and I sat in her soft green chair just a foot away from her bed right between her and the window. 

I decided to open the blinds and watch the lightning flashes. I’d look towards the window as the sky would light up. When the thunder would roar, I’d calmly look back at her and smile and make my eyes twinkle like it was exciting. This went on for a while, me turning to the window, then back at her like watching a tennis match. The first few times when I’d look back at her, I’d see a look of trepidation in her tired eyes, but when I’d smile, she’d smile. After three or four loud crashes, she got the idea and was already smiling when I looked over at her. I was praying silently that she’d feel at peace and be able to fall asleep. After a few minutes when I looked over, she was sound asleep with a soft smile still on her lips. 

I remained in the chair for a while though watching the sky light up and hearing the thunder grow louder and louder. I watched the trees bending in the wind and was startled when one of our patio chairs blew over. The storm was closer now, the thunder was rattling the window panes. For the first time in my life, I felt a bit frightened by the weather outside. Bill was out of town, so I was alone now, with my girls asleep.

I took a moment to let it all sink in. There’s nothing like a giant crash of thunder to make you feel small. If lightning can be so hot and bright and if thunder can be so loud and if the wind can be so strong (where does wind come from anyway!?), how immense must the Creator be? I’m sure you’ve felt it before—maybe looking at a vast mountain range, or gazing out at a giant ocean, or even viewing images captured in outer space.

We are small, tiny, powerless creatures.

We’ve all felt this way, and yet, we don’t feel it very often. We are too busy feeling big and in control with everything we need right in the palm of our hand—remarking: “there’s an app for that.” But, the truth that we are not in control!--and unpredictable weather is a good, healthy reminder of that fact.

Psalm 97: 2-4—Clouds and thick darkness surround Him;…Fire goes before Him and burns up His adversaries round about. His lightnings lit up the world and the earth saw and trembled.

Hebrews 2:6 states: What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him….

And yet, He does care for me, this enormous God of the Universe, more huge than anything I can imagine somehow reaches down. Delicately, with the same touch he used to create the petals of the Iris, He touches this tiny soul of mine. A soul He created to know Him, to acknowledge His greatness and receive love from Him in a very pure and unfathomable way.

Even as I tremble a little in the green chair by the quivering window pane, He whispers His peace into my heart. I take a breath and sense His love cradling me and I lean my head back and rest with a soft smile on my lips.