Problems which threaten to overwhelm. They'll still be married!

Here’s what I hate: annoying problems which threaten to overwhelm.

In my last post, I alluded to the impending 13-year Cicada invasion. Well, it’s officially here. On Monday when I went for a short run, I saw the signs: thousands of shells lined tree trunks and dead Cicada bodies were scattered all over the road so that I had to dodge them as I ran. As I scanned the skies and tree-tops, I began to get antsy. My heart-rate rose rapidly as I began imagining that a swarm of giant red-eyed bugs was about to torpedo my head. I ran faster up hill than I ever have before. I could hardly make it home quickly enough!

Our friends are getting married this Saturday at a large park and nature preserve several miles outside of Nashville. Their reception is outdoors. I have no idea what the Cicada situation is at the park, but if it is in full-force, the reception could turn a bit ugly. Wedding veil turned bug net, cupcake tower pummeled by large flying insects, photographer huddled in fetal position due to her bug phobia, disturbed guests shouting their congratulations as they run for their cars. It could be one giant disaster.

Our friends have been planning this wedding for months. They have been taking care of all the details themselves. The groom has been tailor, baker, carpenter, and wedding planner. (His career is in film production, so he’s used to planning and executing large “projects”…it’s just a tad bit stressful when it’s your own wedding.) Now that the wedding is less than a week away, they’ve been watching the weather forecast carefully. There’s a forty percent chance of rain for Saturday. But, with the Cicada issue, rain could be the least of their worries.

Here’s what I love: They’ll still be married! You see, rain or no rain, bugs or no bugs, our friends will still come out married this Saturday evening. Things can always go wrong at weddings. People faint, unity candles start small fires, rings get dropped, wedding dresses get stained, tuxes don’t show, groomsmen don’t show, bridesmaids show too much…the list goes on. But, for two people who sincerely love each other and desire to commit the rest of their lives to serving the other, the wedding, no matter how lovely, is a formality.

We’ve found a lot of beautiful accessories to accompany the celebration which surrounds a wedding. Fabric and flowers and food and music and candles and poetry and dances and dresses and traditions and toasts and ribbons and gifts are all threads in this intricate tapestry we now call a “wedding.” A delight to our senses, these many details certainly enrich the experience of pledging your life forever to another. But, as those of us who have been married for longer than five minutes know, marriage is WAY more than the wedding. And when you let the oh-so-gorgeous accessories become the focus of the day, then stress and worry take over as we try to control every variable. And we feel positively sick when problems we can’t control (like rain and insects) loom large and snatch away our peace.

Try to remember. The wedding has a purpose. This ceremony performed by a clergyman with at least two witnesses is to enable a couple to make a public promise to one another: A promise to cherish, serve, and protect the other. A promise to remain faithful until death.

A promise to love.

And there you have it, the real purpose of a wedding: to be united with your loved one for life. So, unless someone speaks up when they should be holding their peace, our friends will exit that lovely little park chapel as a married couple—united in love. And while it would certainly be beyond disappointing to see their cupcakes struck by Cicadas or their photo shoot washed out by rain, it will not annul their love.

Romans 8:39 says NOTHING can separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus. This fact brings immeasurable peace to the Christian. We all have problems, both real and potential. Sometimes, they are small and easily surmounted—laughed off even—like a wayward flower girl or a small stumble down the aisle. If we have the right perspective, the “accessories” of life will remain peripheral. When we have the wrong focus, material things in life take center stage and we soon become like “bridezilla” huffing about wrong color flowers, or screaming over lost ear rings. But just as a wedding is more than a dress and a cake, our lives are more than food and clothing.

And that’s just the small stuff. There are larger issues that often threaten this celebration we call life. Like thousands of flying insects, or serious thunder storms at an out door wedding, we sometimes get attacked by things we can’t control. We are devastated by disease, depressed by circumstances, tortured by failures. Like rain, the sadness and despair wash over us. We shake our heads in disbelief as cicadas ruin (for no reason!) the “cupcakes” we made with our own hands.*

We look up with rain mixing with the tears on our faces.

“Why?! Why now? Why us? Why this?"

No answer.

So, we can stand there in our rain soaked dress with bugs in the veil and lament the loss of our beautiful wedding. OR we can remember that no matter what happens, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, we are still loved by Someone who NEVER breaks His promises. We are loved with a never ending, never giving up type of love. Nothing can separate us from that love. Not trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword or Cicadas, or rain, or financial problems, or illness,…not even death itself.

I am thankful for the delights to my senses which enrich my life here on earth, but I don’t want to let either the accumulation of them OR the loss of them to cause me to forget life’s purpose: to be united with my Groom who promises to love me forever.

*[God will restore to us that which the locust has eaten.]

Check back next week for an update on how the wedding turned out! :-)