Remembering childhood adventures. Saying goodbye to close friends.

Here’s what I love: remembering childhood adventures.

The amazing force of sheer will power propelled me up to that lowest branch. Scraped palms, scratches under my arms, and bits of bark in my eyes didn’t matter now: I was up! My very first best friend, Belinda, was ahead of me. We climbed higher and higher in that Evergreen tree until we could see the whole world—or at least a good portion of south Denver. There are scenes in life that get locked in your brain like a photograph. This is one of them. Shaded by the cool branches, the lighting is dim. In front of me precariously balancing in the “Y” shape of a branch the same level as mine sits my third grade BFF. Her long blond hair is escaping her ponytail. Spiral tendrils frame her heart shaped face, which is quite crimson after the climb. Her ice-blue eyes sparkle. Her laugh is a low hum followed by a fluttery giggle. Just beyond her, I can see the bright blue Colorado sky.

We were as close to the top of the tree as we could possibly get when we both realized we needed to pee. Always up for inventing our own adventures, we decided it would be hugely daring and fun to just stay in the tree to use the bathroom. As vividly as I can remember the shade of the tree, the blue of the sky, and Belinda’s blond hair, I’ve somehow blocked out the logistics required for a girl to pee out of a tree—over 15 feet off the ground. Still, we must have managed somehow—used a leaf to wipe?? Who knows. But, I do remember laughing hysterically and then being desperately worried that we would get caught and possibly arrested or something.

After “taking care of business” and nearly falling from the tree several times, we made our way down from the tree and took off running across the soft green grass at Platt Park. This was only one of several silly escapades we embarked on during our years of friendship.

Belinda and I were always different from one another, (she had long, golden locks, and I sported a jet-black bowl cut. I tended to dress a bit preppy and stay miraculously clean for all my running about, whereas Belinda stuck with cut-offs and t-shirts which would inevitably reveal where she had been that day…like sliding down the auditorium floor on her belly), but we shared a love of imagination, drawing, climbing, and fierce loyalty. When I was whisked away to Texas after sixth grade, our friendship took the form of letters sent in the actual mail with stamps and envelopes. Even as our lives began to look culturally and economically very different, we knew that our childhood promise to stay friends forever would always be intact. Approximately fourteen years after peeing out of a tree, Belinda stood by me as my maid of honor when I married my wonderful husband.

Today, as that tree-climbing memory wandered through my brain, I knew I needed to write it down. I needed to recall those years of sweet, childhood friendship. I needed to sit in thankfulness for the existence of a girl named Belinda—Belinda, who cheered me after my parents’ divorce. Belinda who’s own family problems gave me a role of encourager. We certainly didn’t realize it at the time, but during our simple school day adventures, and walks home, and first sleep-overs—somewhere in the middle of all of that, we saved each other. God gave us an amazing gift of a friendship that would span years and miles and differences. He gave us to one another as an encourager, a prayer warrior, and a constant in a time when everything was changing.

Now, twenty-five years into our friendship, I marvel at the woman Belinda has become. The brilliant blond spit-fire with a dramatic flair whom I met in the third grade, persevered through countless hardships and is now a talented mother of three, wife to a strong and successful man (made even stronger and more successful because of her). She is witty, she is tireless, she is loving, and she is devoted to maintaining relationships even when it’s hard. I was grateful to have her as a friend in third grade, and I am honored to call her my friend today.

Here’s what I hate: saying goodbye to close friends.

Belinda was the first of many deep and wonderful friends who enriched my life beyond measure.

Proverbs 27:9
Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.

I know for certain that the Lord has provided friends for me at just the right moment with just the right talents to challenge me to become a better person. When you experience those close bonds of friendship, and share memorable conversations or events, which irrevocably connect you, it’s difficult to live apart from them. Even though you will always consider the person a dear and priceless comrade, you wish you could stay “up in the tree” so-to-speak. Even though you know that no amount of time or distance can separate true kindred spirits, you mourn the lack of “face time.”

Sure, phone and email and Skype definitely help dear friends stay connected, but there is something about shared experiences that cement the memories. Memories are often a big part of close friendships. Anecdotes or calamity unite a friendship like nothing else. Of course there is much more to good friendship than goofy stories—things like faithful encouragement, a listening ear, and sincere interest are all critical ingredients in best friendships. But there is also something to be said for the experiences that connect you.

Things like dressing alike and skipping school.

Things like sitting back to back before our cue.

Things like the “four penny curse” and serious discussions.

Things like singing “Baton Rouge” together at the top of your lungs, and waking up with whiplash from doing a “bungee run”.

Things like waking someone up at 1am to talk.

Things like hours at IHOP, watching the moon rise and sipping hot chocolate under the stars.

Things like vanilla candles, Anne of Green Gables soundtrack, and steeling giant Christmas decorations in Sundance Square.

Things like getting locked out of your car on the side of the highway in a blizzard.

Things like mystery vomiting, smoke alarm tampering, and middle of the night fire alarms (having nothing to do with the smoke alarm tampering) all in the same trip!

Things like laughing hysterically while playing Cranium.

Things like deep discussions, neighborhood walks, and praying together.

Things like blue-fingered knitting, long talks over coffee, trips to New York, and Crazy 8s parties. Things like working together, teaching together, and seeing Wicked together.

Things like raising giggly girls, meeting at parks, eating at Mission Burrito and Swirl. Things like fateful trips to Galveston, and countless nights of laughter.

Things like life-changing conversations over red wine.

Sometimes, it’s not the actual event that matters—it could be something big like a blizzard, or something small like reading by candle light in a dorm room. It’s not what’s happening that matters, it’s the way you both see it. It’s the twinkle in your eye, the shared smile—the unspoken knowledge that you will remember this forever.

Inevitably, you say goodbye to that sweet friend. Either they move or you move or circumstances change and you don’t get to see that person as much. But, you still cherish their very existence. The list above is a sampling of experiences shared with many dear friends over the years. I marvel at the beautiful colors they’ve painted on my heart. I thank the Lord for the way these friends have carried me, comforted me, encouraged me, challenged me or simply made me laugh. I hate saying goodbye, but I know we’ll always be connected.

Are you thankful for the deep friendships in your lifetime?

1 Samuel 20:42
Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, ‘The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’”