Messy, Glorious Life

Worth the mess.

Here’s what I hate: messes.

My new morning routine consists of shuffling into the kitchen and putting the kettle on the stove.  Nope—not for tea.  Although I’ve occasionally been accused of slipping into a British accent, and I do like tea, I have not resorted to drinking tea in the morning.  It’s still good ol’ coffee for me.  I prefer dark roast in a French Press—(thus the need for hot water from the tea kettle).  

This new coffee ritual replaced my most recent use of a Keurig coffee machine, which efficiently pumps out one cup of individually chosen coffee.  I wanted a Keurig because I only (usually) partake of ONE cup of coffee in the mornings.  It seemed silly to be brewing a pot just for my one cup, which is what I had been doing before that. 

Here’s what I love about my Keurig:  It brews one cup super fast just for me.  AND it is extremely clean.  There are no messy grounds to clean up or even a pot to pour out and clean. 

Here’s what I hate about my Keurig:  K-cups are ridiculously expensive (not to mention bad for the environment), and the coffee tastes rather mediocre. 

After recently re-discovering the rich, wonderful flavor of coffee made in a French Press, I decided to bite the bullet and take the time and energy required to make good coffee every morning.

So, the kettle gets filled and placed on the gas stove until it whistles at me.  I then grind the coffee beans in my little grinder.  This ends up getting coffee grounds on my nice, white, quartz counters no matter how careful I am.  This irritates me to no end.  Finally, I pour the grounds in the press, add the whistling water and stir.  I let it steep for about five minutes and then slowly press the grounds to the bottom.  Then, I pour myself one fantastically thick, rich cup of Joe. 

Sometimes I burn my tongue on the first sip.

The whole process doesn’t take THAT much longer than the Keurig, however, it’s the mess I dislike.  You see, it’s not just the stray grounds on the white counter tops.  It’s also the wet grounds that I have to dump out of the press when it’s time to clean it up.  Someone told me that you shouldn’t put the grounds down the disposal, so I try to avoid that.  This usually means scooping soggy coffee grounds into the trashcan.  Not my favorite.

But, that’s the price to pay for infinitely superior coffee.

This led me to realize that, in fact, most quality things involve a mess of some variety. 

I am not much of a cook and one reason is because you make messes when you cook (well).  Stray bits of food escape to the floor when you chop things, eggs splash, olive oil drips, and salt spills.  Then, there is the required clean-up of casserole dishes, utensils, and multiple bowls and pans after a big meal.  Even though my husband usually does the clean-up, I tend to not want to bother with all the mess-making required in the process of good cooking.

But, when I do occasionally make things from scratch, my efforts (and messes) are rewarded with the deliciousness that is a handmade meal.

Coffee and food are not the only things in which true quality involves a bit of a mess. 

Relationships are that way.

Quality friendships don’t come in individually wrapped packages.

Good marriages don’t come in k-cups spitting out individual desires with the push of a button. 

Rewarding companionship isn’t achieved without time, hands-on attention, effort and, yes, more than a few spills. 

Want a friend?  Get ready to (eventually) help someone move or clean up their yard after a storm.

Want a roommate?  Get ready to clean up cereal bowls and towels and toothpaste.

Want a husband?  Get ready to trip over giant shoes, clean-up urine on the toilet seat, and wash skid-marked underwear.  (Yes, I said that.)

Want a wife?  Get ready to kill bugs, wipe lipstick off your cheek, and pull rodent-sized hairballs out of the shower drain.

Want a baby?  Get ready to clean up poop, snot, and spit-up on an hourly basis.

Want a kid?  Get ready to clean up toys, muddy footprints, crumbs, and drink spills… PLUS tears and blood and vomit for approximately 18 years.

But relationships don’t just involve physical messes.  They also come with emotional ones.  Some of the figurative messes caused by loved-ones are minimal and easily swept up and forgotten.  Issues like being late, annoying habits, different tastes in food or movies can cause small clashes, which create tiny messes like coffee grounds sprinkled on the counter. 

However, other issues can create larger messes—depression, job loss, bad choices, addiction, illness, or family issues can mean that you are standing hand-in-hand with your loved one staring at a mess the size of a small town after a tornado.  You may not know where to start.

But, you can start by not walking away.

Many of us bail at the sight of a big mess (or even a small one).  We flee that relationship and vow to avoid all messiness in the future.

However, the only way to avoid a mess is to live in complete sterility and isolation.  

But in the midst of a mess there can immerge something wonderful.  Character is grown in the swirl of our messy lives.  Quality coffee, quality food, and quality friendships all require time, hands-on attention, effort and, yes, more than a few spills. 

If you are sitting in a clean house, you are probably alone.

If your hands are sticky, you probably have a toddler.

If you are tired because you stayed up until 3am trying to resolve an argument, you probably have a fiancé.

If you looking around at dust on the mantle or scattered leaves in the yard or piles of papers or unanswered texts or toys on the floor or dirt on your car or dishes in the sink, you probably have a life—with people in it.  And that means you have a rich, flavorful, life—a quality life.

Don’t sigh at the spilled coffee grounds.  Instead, be thankful for the aroma of that excellent coffee and enjoy every last drop. 

Don’t cringe at the messiness of relationships, instead be thankful for the depth of that exceptional person touching your heart and enjoy every last moment...even the messy ones.