I Just Can't

Have you ever heard someone say that? 

“I just can’t stand the traffic anymore.” 

“I just can’t do math.”

“I just can’t handle her personality.”

Several times in the course of this hike, one or both of
my daughters declared: "I can't keep going." But, with a little
encouragement, they did--and this was the view from the top.

I’m sure I’ve said that phrase before, but lately it has sort of stood out to me.  I know I’ve said it in the midst of a run or a work-out…  “I just can’t keep going.”  In reality, I end up giving up, claiming my body “can’t,” long before true physical limitations kick in. 

The truth is, I don’t WANT to.  It’s uncomfortable.  So, I don’t.  I won’t.

When my 19 year old cat who had been my best friend my entire life was too sick to carry on, the vet said she had to be put down.  I spent a good 30 minutes cradling my cat in the sunshine in the driveway while she was still alive.  But, I told my poor (allergic) husband that I just “couldn’t” go into the vet’s office to watch her be put to sleep.  So, he went in and sat with her during the part that was too emotionally hard for me. 

When Jesus was in the garden with his disciples, he asked them to stay awake and keep watch while he prayed.  Guess what?  They didn’t.  I am sure one of them uttered the phrase “I just can’t stay awake” as he stifled a yawn.  I’m sure that I wouldn’t have stayed awake either. I’m sure I would have run when everyone else did.  I also think that I “couldn’t” have been compelled to look up at the bloody, suffering body of my savior (since I couldn’t even stay with my dying cat.)

We couldn’t obey God perfectly and stay in that torturous road to crucifixion and abandonment, so He did.

We can’t stay awake to pray, endure a difficult relationship even though we made vows, or even stay with an animal or loved one while they breathe their last, but He can.

He stayed and He stays.

He can also enable us to stay. 

We limit his power in our lives when we don’t yield to His help in the most difficult of circumstances. 

I couldn’t stay with my poor kitty.

I am sure I couldn’t stay by Jesus’ side when death was threatened.

I know I can’t live a sinless life and walk the torturous path to the crucifixion and abandonment, so He did.

We hear a lot of I “I can’t.”

--stay in this marriage.

--deal with these kids anymore.

--handle all of these financial burdens.

But I am proposing that “I just can’t” is an opportunity for two things:

1.     Push for change, fight for it.  You need ________?  Find out how to get it.  Do the work.

2.     Remember that Jesus CAN (and did). 

His grace is still there if we fail and walk out, but His power is also available to strengthen us, walk with us, transform us, and be near to us and help us do the hard work.

Lean on Him. 

He can. 

He did.

But what does that look like? 

It looks like:

Staying.

Enduring.

Walking day in and day out through harsh realities.

Yielding to Him.

Asking for contentment rather than rescue.*

Asking for strength rather than deliverance.* 

Asking for wisdom to help be the change you need.

At the very least, stop saying “I just can’t.”  Acknowledge that the truth sounds more like: “I just won’t.”  “This is too uncomfortable.”  “I don’t want to.”  Go ahead and say those words out loud.  Then, be grateful that Jesus never said those words.  He went to the cross to purchase the very forgiveness that allows you to say: “I just won’t stay in this marriage.”

There are many, many things in life that are extremely taxing and difficult.  However, too often, we quit rather than endure.  We claim we can’t when the truth is, we won’t. 

I recently heard a story about a surgeon in a remote area of the north pole. He was the only doctor for miles and miles.  It would be a two day trip to get out of there.  Well, one morning, the surgeon wakes up with appendicitis.  Can you guess what had to be done?  Yep, he performed his own appendectomy.  I am sure that when he was lying on that table, leaning up in an awkward half crunch about to cut himself open, he was tempted to (understandably) say: “I just can’t.”    But, he didn’t say that.  Instead, he did the hard, seemingly impossible work.  He survived.  He recovered.  And he lived to tell the story. Next time you are tempted to say you can’t, remember that guy.

But more importantly, next time you hear yourself saying “I just can’t,” ask Jesus to give you the strength to endure because He can.

*I am most certainly NOT advising you stay at home in an abusive relationship—get out, get help—in fact, Jesus will strengthen you to make the move you need to make to walk towards protection and health.