Miami! Thinking about dying.

Here's what I love: Miami! I am taking a short break from packing for a romantic getaway weekend with my husband in sunny Miami, FL! It's rainy and cold here in Nashville today--a forcast that seems iminent this spring. But, that's okay because I have sun dresses and flip flops layed out on my bed ready to be tossed in the suitcase for a fun trip to a much warmer climate. PLUS, our dear friends have agreed to keep the girls so that Bill and I can have some time alone. I don't care if it does end up raining the entire time we are in Miami because I will get to sleep in, eat when I want and have uninterupted conversations with my darling husband! So thankful!

Here's what I hate: the practical preparations involved in leaving our precious daughters behind for the weekend. First, we had to sign a document giving our friends temporary custody of the girls for while we are away--this is so that they can get quick medical treatment should that be required. (Heaven forbid!) Second, Bill and I realized that we have yet to make up a proper will. I will spare you the details as to why we haven't done this, but we did end up drafting one using an on-line program just incase we kick the bucket on our trip to Miami. This got me thinking about my death which in turn inspired the words below.

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“Have you ever fantasized about your own funeral?” says Rachel to Kurt on the hit show Glee. Then, she continues to describe how she loves to think about everyone’s sadness and regret should she be suddenly dead and gone. I have to admit, I used to do this—as a pre-teen and as a teenager, I often thought of how sad people would be (should be!) if I died. I’d picture mourning friends and regretful frienemies red-eyed and beside themselves. I’d picture ex-boyfriends lamenting the fact that they would never have a chance to get back together with me. And my parents would be sorry they hadn’t bought me Guess jeans and a car.

Today, I move from a goofy adolescent fantasy, to a near-middle aged imagining…what if I was dying. A pretty horrible thought considering I know of two women my age who are suffering under the evil hand of cancer as they fight for another day with their husband and kids.

I am definitely not making light of this. Instead, I am using it as a wake-up call. I need to live like I am dying. (As the song goes.) Would I live differently if I knew I was dying? Would I spend more time with my husband and less time watching TV? Would I sing and read more to my kids? Would I jump on the trampoline every day? Would I tell my parents how much I love and appreciate them? Would I eat what I wanted and spend every second I could with the people I love? Probably. What things would I want to make sure I say to my kids? (That’s definitely fodder for another equally important and related post.) The issue I am thinking about now is what I would say to my friends—specifically those who don’t profess faith in Christ.

I’ve always sort of wondered about the whole “dying wish” thing. You hear that in movies and on the news… “it was her dying wish that her cats inherit her fortune.” Have you ever wondered why we honor the requests of the dead?

A dead person can’t make you do anything. If you think the plan they put in place is not good, then why not forget it!? Once they are dead, you could change it! What are they gonna do to you?! And yet, there are laws to protect a dead person’s plans. When someone has a dying wish, we tune in. Maybe because we know it is their last wish. They won’t get a chance to fulfill any other wishes, so, in a way, we extend their life by fulfilling that wish.

Well, guess what? I am dying.

Don't freak out--technically, I do not have a terminal illness. I have not been diagnosed with a true disease. However, we are all dying aren’t we? I’d like to pretend for the sake of this post that I am facing a more imminent death (you never know)!

So, if I was dying SOON, what would I say to my friends??

I long to take them by the hand and introduce them to a love that won’t let them down. The previous sentence was going to start “I want to lead…”, but then I realized that I don’t want to come off as a know-it-all…I don’t want to lead in an uppity kind of “here is what you should do” way. (Though, I am good at being a bossy know-it-all.) Instead, I want to bring my friend whom I deeply love into the same room as my eternal Ally and pray real hard that the eyes of their heart will be wide open to the truth of who this Person is.

I hope that they will look deeply into His eyes and see the passion there. I hope they’ll be unnerved by the way He says their name and the way He speaks to their soul. Then, I hope they’ll lean in closer and ask some questions about Him. I know that they’ll get answers when they crack open the book He wrote to them. I hope they’ll somehow comprehend His character, which includes pure justice. Then, I hope they’ll see their own weakness, their mistakes, their wrong choices, and their need for the removal of these. I know they’ll marvel at His plan to completely cleanse them. With heart beating rapidly they’ll take His hand and pledge their lives to Him. And just like that, the eternal destiny of their soul will be changed.

So, my “dying” wish is that my friends would be introduced to Jesus. I pray daily for four friends in particular whom I deeply love and want so much for them to experience forgiveness, peace, and joy for eternity. These four souls are on my heart all the time. These four people have me crying into my key board. Begging for truth to win. I feel blessed by their friendship and so, I bequeath to them a full share in my inheritance and the only thing I know to be of eternal value: a relationship with Jesus Christ.