Being Pear Shaped. God Gives Me Confidence.

Here’s what I hate: Being pear-shaped.

I am beginning to be shaped exactly like a pear. Seriously.  This is part of the joy of having carried two darling children in my belly coupled with the not-so-awesome fact that my metabolism has slowed considerably.  Oh, and gravity plays a role in this too. 

Therefore, here I sit: tiny up top, nice and curvy down low. 

I’ve been hating this for a while even though I try not to because there are MUCH sadder, tragic things to hate in the world.  Plus, obsessing about my body image is shallow and silly and useless. 

However, since I am an American woman, it is rather a challenge not to, once in a while, develop over-analytical thoughts about my image. 

It’s annoying and ridiculous, but it’s still true.

Last Sunday I hit an all-time low.

Our family of four was getting ready to head out to a party.

It was a beginning of the year party for Medical Students.  (Bill is one of the Medical School mentors and he and his colleague were hosting a beginning of the year party for about 100 students.)

The party was at our friend’s house.

He has an awesome pool.

The med students love it because it has a pool…and free food…and fun drinks…

Anyway, we were getting ready to go to this party. 

A swim party.

I did not want to go.

I did not want to put on my bathing suit.

Now, get this, I wear a swimming suit nearly every day.  We have a neighborhood pool and I take the girls there all the time.  But, the people at our pool are my friends.  Other thirty-something year old moms with 2.5 kids who understand about what childbearing does to one’s body.

The people at this party were going to be med students.  Twenty-something year old people with young, super-fit bodies flexing their muscles and looking great in bikinis.  (To add insult to injury, all these gorgeous people are Vanderbilt Medical students—therefore, they aren’t just pretty, they are super smart as well.  Ugh.)

So, I tell Bill through insecure sobs that I will go to the party, but I will not wear a bathing suit.  I will play lifeguard so that our girls can get in the pool, but I will have to jump in with my clothes on should one of them happen to be drowning because I would NOT be seen in my bathing suit at this party of young, gorgeous medical students.

Once I made that decision, (supported by a very kind “whatever you need dear” from my hubby), I went happily enough to the party.  (I was fully clothed in a dress that I always get a ton of compliments on.  I was sure that this would help me feel secure.)

The party went fine.  My kids had a blast and did not drown.  I stood around and talked to several witty, kind, and wonderful med students, but I did not have to be seen in a bathing suit.

Later that night, I was lamenting my emotional breakdown over something so trite.

Why was I so insecure about this?! 

I didn’t know.  But, in the midst of my silent rant/prayer, the Lord reminded me of the armor I am supposed to wear every day.  I am to put on this armor so that I can stand firm against the schemes of the Devil.  And it certainly must be one of his schemes to make me feel bad about myself and insecure about my body. 

I like to pray through the armor as though I am putting it on from head to toe and then add “accessories” which are utterly necessary. 

1.)First, I picture putting on the helmet of salvation.  Obviously, that goes on my head.  Because of what Jesus did on the cross, I am saved from sin forever.  That eternal, all encompassing salvation is what protects my head, which houses my brain where all this irrational thinking is done.  I think the realization that I am saved for eternity helps protect me from insecure thoughts because eternity is so much greater than anything I am struggling with in the moment.

2.) Then, I put on the breastplate of righteousness.  Christ’s own righteousness covers my heart.  At the heart of who I am, when people look at me, they can see His righteousness shining through me—giving me a confidence that far surpasses any breast implants I might be desiring…

3.) Belt of truth.  A belt wraps around your waist—protecting your organs or your “gut.”  By putting God’s truth around us, we are asking that He guide our “gut feelings” with His truth.  Also, it protects me from feeling sick to my stomach over my body image and tells me the truth about who I am in Christ.

4.) Feet shod with the gospel of peace.  What does that mean!?  Well, I take it to mean that I need to be ready to share the gospel wherever my feet carry me.  By remembering this, it can help me walk in confidence because my goal, wherever I am, is to share Christ’s love and the great news about eternal life.  It matters little what I am wearing or how I look when I remember why my feet are on this planet.

So, we’ve put on hat, dress, belt, and shoes…

And now, necessary accessories~

5.) The shield of faith.  Maybe you can’t really picture carrying around a shield, but we do need to be reminded that we are trying to protect ourselves against the Devil’s wicked schemes.  This particular scheme, to make us hate our bodies, distracts from God’s real purpose for our lives and steals our joy.  But, by trusting in Christ, we are surrounded by the protection of God’s powerful love. 

6.) The sword of the spirit.  The only offensive weapon we have is the word of God.  The Bible!  Knowing God’s word puts a weapon in my hands.  When Satan makes me feel ugly and insecure, I can shout back: 

I am fearfully and wonderfully made!

Psalm 139:14

Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 

1 Samuel 16:7

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 

Proverbs 31:30

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 

1 Peter 3:3-4

Here’s what I love: God gives me confidence. 

By reminding me of the armor in Ephesians 6:10-17, I felt freed from all that insecurity I had over being seen in my swimming suit.  I hope that if you ever happen to feel insecure or attacked, that you too will be reminded of the armor which God gave us to protect us and strengthen us in this difficult world.