I am a fool. God loves me.

Here’s what I hate: I am extremely foolish and stupid sometimes.

So, remember my bike?  The one I got like 2 months ago for my birthday?  Well, I truly enjoy riding it (even with the unending hills in our neighborhood.)

Yesterday, I took a short five-mile ride.  The brisk air and the fall leaves made for lovely cycling weather.  However, I hadn’t ridden in a few weeks, so it took me longer than I was expecting. 

As I slowed to a halt in my driveway, I put the kick-stand down and rushed inside the house.  You see, it was 9:55 already and I was due to meet some friends for coffee at 10:00.  I virtually flew inside the front door of the house to ditch my helmet and grab some water.  (Yes, I was going to my coffee date all stinky-sweaty-post-bike-ride.  True friends don’t care!)

Water, keys, purse in hand, I jump in the car.  I notice my mom had left me a voicemail.  I dial her number as I turn on the car.

She greets me hello and I begin to back the car out of the garage…

You know what happened, don’t you?

You’ve realized that I left my bike in the driveway.  My brand-new-birthday-gift-from-my-husband-bike that is…

Soooo, mid sentence on the convo with my mom, I hear a loud thump.

“Oh my gosh!” I yell.  “I’ll call you right back.” I manage to inform my mom before hanging up.

I pull the car back into the garage.  Jumping from my seat, I stare down the driveway at my bike lying on the ground.

I rush to it’s aid, (whilst simultaneously trying to appear nonchalant incase any neighbors are watching me.)

I examine the victim.

Miraculously, she (the bike is lavender, it has to be a girl) appears to be unscathed. 

I quickly run the bike up the driveway and into the garage.  That’s when I notice that the handlebars are a bit turned from where they should be.  I realize that it’s an easy fix as I nudge them back into place.

Phew!  Thank goodness the bike didn’t get damaged.  Better yet, thank goodness my car didn’t get damaged!

Yep, the only damage done that day was to my ego.

What a dumb thing to do! 

But, we do dumb things, don’t we?  It’s part of being human.  It’s part of life after the fall. 

We try to appear perfect.  We try to seem like everything is fine all the time.  We try to hide our struggles.  I realized just how much I try to hide my struggles during the ride I took (before I tried to murder my bike with the car). 

As I mentioned, there are tons of hills in our neighborhood.  Hills are fun to ride down. Not so much fun to ride up.  I’ve noticed that whenever I’m huffing and puffing up a hill, my face contorted with pain and exertion, if a mini-van or SUV drives by, I try to hide my struggle by sitting up straighter and flashing the biggest smile I can muster.  Why?  Because all of my friends drive either mini-vans or SUVs!  Heaven forbid that one of my friends think I am struggling on that hill.  I need to appear like I’m a pro cyclist out for a leisurely ride.  Giant hill?—no big whoop.  I’m awesomely fine on this hill.  Cheerio!  See you this afternoon dahling.

That’s pretty much how we are about our struggles in life as well.  We make every effort to look like we have it all together. 

But, guess what?  We don’t.  None of us is perfect and we all do dumb stuff.  Even if you’ve never backed over your brand new bike, I’m sure you’ve washed your iPhone in the washing machine or tripped over your own feet or waved at someone you don’t know because you mistook them for someone you do know or lost your temper or put your foot in your mouth or asked a silly question or forgotten someone’s name when they just said it or spilled your drink or forgot a friend’s birthday etc. etc. etc. 

The truth is that we are all do dumb things.  But, rather than admitting it, we try to hide it.  We exhaust ourselves by flashing fake smiles and hurrying to pick up our mangled bike before the neighbors see.

Why do we do that?  Why do we attempt to hide our imperfections?

Well, I think that it’s because deep down we think that if people see what a screw-up we are, they won’t love us anymore.  If they see me in all my ugly fatigue biking up hill, they may not want to be friends with such an unattractive mess of a person.

Yes, deep down, I think I worry about that.

But then God reminds me that while people may want for me to always be smiling and smooth and put-together, He sees everything about me and He still loves me.  He loves me!

While I was still helpless (huffing and puffing up the hill or backing over my bike or yelling at my kids or lying about something stupid), Christ died for me. 

When I stop trying to hide my sin, He forgives me and takes away the guilt.

God has compassion on me when I stop trying to conceal my transgressions.

God wipes away my stupidity.  I can always return to Him no matter what I’ve done.

Even while I am weak and tired and weighted down by mistakes and meanness, Christ lavishes me with His grace and lifts me up to new life.

Hiding our imperfections is exhausting.  So, now I've told you that I have a really hard time riding my bike up hill.  And you know that I often do moronic things (like back over my own bicycle.)  This may cause you to not want to be my friend, but God loves me no matter what I do.  And God loves you too!  I hope you know this to be true.