My Advice is Crap. Don't Take It.

Sooo, last week, I posted a pithy little list of advice that I thought would be fun to dole out now that I’m all old and wise and stuff.  HOWEVER, right after I posted it, I started reading a book that has been out for a couple years, but I hadn’t read it yet.  It’s one of those books that sort of makes you tilt your head as you look at your life and go, hmm.  It fanned a little flame in my heart and mind—a flame that has been there all along, but probably needed to be put on a lampstand, but I had been hiding it under a table…or something like that.

The book is called Love Does by Bob Goff.  I don’t recommend it unless you want to answer the call to turn your life upside down or at least shake it up a little bit.

Just now as I was typing the title to the book, the middle finger on my left hand got over eager and I accidentally typed “LoveD Does.”  This was a sanctified slip though because it perfectly illustrates what I want to tell you.  More on that later.

My advice—the advice from last week—was total crap.  (Well, except for number 10, that one might still be ok.) 

Why do I say this about my own advice that I thought was rather helpful and clever just last week???  Because, what I realized is that my advice is all a list of behavior changes.  It’s a list of dos and don’ts.  (Do make your bed, don’t talk about yourself constantly.)  And while it can be good advice for being a better human, it’s not good advice for living a fuller life. 

People generally lean towards wanting tangible advice that they can follow: don’t do this, do that—it’s doable, trackable, stackable, touchable stuff that you can see.  But the problem is when you don’t succeed (and believe me, you won’t always succeed at all the things that make you a good human), you feel crappy about yourself or give up and say—no matter—forget flossing!  Who needs it!? 

OR, you will succeed at most of the things most of the time and you will be one of those people who looks amazing on paper and in person (on the outside) and many people will hate you, but that will just make you happy because you will tell yourself that it is just because they are jealous.  You will get all the glory.  YOU.  You will be considered amazing and that will be well-earned because you have been working hard to floss and make your bed and be on time etc. etc.  You should get glory for doing that consistently, right?  The problem with you getting the glory is that it is basically stealing.  The glory does not belong to you.  So, there’s that.

My advice last week was well-meaning.  And do you know what started it all?  The flossing thing!  It’s all because I truly thought that was a great trick my friends taught me and I wanted to share it with you, dear reader, because it had worked for me and I thought it could be helpful to you.  And that’s fine.  It’s fine to give people helpful hints. 

What is not fine is that I continued with a list that delineates how to be a kind (be on time), nice (listen to others), successful (make your bed), person.  But who the heck cares if you are a kind, nice, successful person if you have not love. 

Back to that whole love thing.

Ironically, in the book Love Does, Bob is encouraging readers quit saying stuff and start doing stuff.  One of my favorite things is when he and some guys quit their bible STUDY in order to start Bible DOING.  They wanted to make sure they were obeying what the bible said, not just reading it and talking about it or even understanding it.  They wanted to be DOING it.  Again, this is inspiring (convicting) stuff and all Christians need an invite to get off their backsides and take some action rather than just saying (typing) a whole lot of words that sound nice. 

The thing is, even Bob’s book could be seen as akin to my list of advice.  Get up!  Get going!  Go sailing!  Say yes to strangers!  Make grand gestures!  Go on an adventure!  Save an innocent child! Be whimsical!  Go to Uganda!  Whatever it is, it’s good stuff.  It’s meant to be helpful.  He wants for us to lead fuller lives and put action behind our loving words.  I wanted for you to have helpful hints for general life interactions.  But, it’s all behavior—all of it.  Bob’s book was better (for numerous reasons) because at least he implies that love should motivate us.  And I agree.  But, I also want to assert that being loved is the surest motivator. 

Sure, when we say we love someone, we should put action behind it.  Love does. 

But, sometimes we don’t love someone or we don’t feel particularly loving.  What then?

Well, we are still loved.  And that alone can motivate us.

God’s love for us is faithful, huge, unconditional, primary, passionate, tender, real, transformational, restorative, redeeming, powerful, and everlasting. 

You are loved by God.

YOU

are

loved

by

GOD.

Please, please, please close your eyes and let that sink in.  It’s the absolute truth!  The truest thing we know is that God loves us with this big, huge, passionate, tender, real, faithful, everlasting love. 

Don’t you want to be loved that way?

Well, YOU ARE!

It’s done.  He loves you.  He really does.  I can’t say it enough.  You must believe me.

When that does sink in, (and I’m praying like crazy for you right now that it will), I want you to look up.

Look up into the eyes of the One who loved you enough to die for you and who loves you enough to intercede for you and who loves you enough to come back for you.

So, ignore my advice from last week.

If this is the last thing I ever write, it’s the most important.

Flossing, consistency, selflessness, moderation…these are all behaviors. They might get easier with time as you abide in His love, but they might not.  But if you do start to behave differently, guess who gets the glory?--God does.  If you are acting out of His deep love for you, then His Spirit is at work in you and He gets the glory!  

But if you are doing these things just to be a better human, then please don’t do it, because it means you are not motivated by loving OR by being loved. 

 

I’d rather you be loved than behave or be on time, or make your bed, or eat moderately. When you believe you are loved by Jesus, you will be transformed and motivated and secure. It's true.

So please, please, don’t take my advice from last week. 

Instead, be loved. 

“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine,"

Song of Solomon 6:3