Here’s what I HATE: being “dizzy Lizzy.”
Last weekend something scary happened to me. I woke up on Saturday morning and the
room was spinning. I felt
nauseated and dizzy for several moments.
Finally, I was able to walk to the kitchen and get my breakfast and
coffee going. I felt slightly
off-balance all day, but nothing like I had that morning.
HOWEVER, that night when I was going to bed, I plopped down
on my left side facing Bill and all of a sudden felt like my side of the bed
was flying backwards violently away from him. I saw the wall and ceiling behind him dashing—melting away
right before I clamped my eyes closed.
Even in the darkness behind my lashes, I wasn’t safe from the swirling
feeling of falling out of control.
It was terrifying.
After a moment or two, the feeling subsided and I opened my
eyes to find myself safely looking into the steady eyes of my husband 12 inches
away from me.
Then I burst into tears.
You see, I have heard horror stories of friends who have
struggled with vertigo and viruses that attack the inner ear causing all kinds
of equilibrium problems. In these
severe cases, the victim could not stop vomiting, were hospitalized, had months
of rehab, and side effects from medications.
I was more than a little frightened of that happening to
me.
I sat up in bed and was scared to lie down again for fear of
being thrown into another special effects movie scene like the one I had just
experienced. My tears subsided and
after Bill prayed with me, he finally drifted off to sleep.
I sat there, straight up, staring directly ahead at the wall
on the other side of the room. It
was steady and still at that point and I remember feeling like I had to keep my
eyes open to make sure it wasn’t going to slide suddenly away from me.
My breathing was uneven as I tried hard not to think about
what was wrong with me, and dreading the possibility of it getting any worse.
Finally my worried soul spit out a small prayer.
Jesus, please help me.
And that’s when He whispered the reminder of something I’ve
known for years.
I am your rock.
Here’s what I love:
The Lord is my rock.
I didn’t know which Psalm it was, but there in the darkness
I said it to myself:
“God alone”—Only God can be a rock in any circumstance. Nothing else can be nearly as strong or as faithful as him.
“I shall not be shaken.” Even though my brain is spinning out of control and the
bedroom seems to be flying away.
Even though my health may crumble at the drop of a hat. Even though our living situation is
unknown. Even though work is
overwhelming. Even though life is
completely unpredictable. Even though
the country might fall of some sort of fiscal cliff. Even though the entire world will one day collapse.
I—my soul—will not be greatly shaken.
How can that be???
Because God is my rock. I know Him. I
trust Him. And He holds me
steady…forever.
Amen.
I’m pretty sure I’ve used JJ Heller’s lyrics before, but
after my mind found peace in that verse, this tune finally helped me to drift
off to sleep. (You can watch a YouTube video and hear the sweet song if you
want.)
When my world is shaking, heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave your hands
Your hands that shaped the world
Are holding me
They hold me still
And so, even as I am still feeling a bit unsteady as I sit
writing this (a week later!), I know that God is
my rock.
No matter what.
Side note: I’m awaiting my appointment with an ENT next Thursday
to find out why I’m feeling perpetually drunk or like I've just ridden the Tea Cups at Disney World. (It’s not as fun as it might sound.)
Elisabeth,
ReplyDeleteYou are right, no matter what, you are in the steadiest of hands! I am sorry to hear of your vertigo episodes. I have had several maybe 5 or six years ago, but have had none since. I hope the same happens to you. I will remember you in my prayers.
Thank you so much for the prayers! It is a dreadful feeling as you know. Thank you for reading! It means a lot.
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