Shattered Expectations

Here's what I love: shattered expectations.

When I was younger, I thought that somewhere out there was a tall, dark, handsome man who would be clever, thoughtful, hardworking, and kind.  He would undoubtedly have a good sense of humor and would probably be reasonably athletic—strong enough to lift me over his shoulder during our picturesque tickle fights in piles of fall leaves.  He’d also be somewhat agile so that we could dance at our wedding. 

I expected that falling in love would be poetry, laughter, devotion, long talks over candle light, and plenty of chemistry. 

I admit that much of my ideas about romantic love came from movies and books.  As a high school senior headed to college, I was a hopeless romantic.  I loved rom-coms and poetry and dramatic dreams.  Movies like Somewhere in Time, Braveheart, and Titanic portrayed men who were so hopelessly attracted to the mysterious woman lead that they would do anything for her—just to be near her. 

Yes, I was convinced that love meant desperate fascination and unexplained fondness, which would never be quenched. 

Imagine my surprise when I began to realize that true love meant 

drudgery, pain, chosen dedication, and long talks in blinding sunlight with very little chemistry to speak of. 

Sure, Bill and I have some classic, picturesque memories dotting the landscape of our relationship.  We’ve jumped in a pile of leaves, we’ve read poetry by moonlight, we’ve strolled along beaches at sunset, we’ve kissed beneath the shadow of Big Ben on New Years Eve, and he recently carried me over the threshold of this new house. 

Even though Bill is not the dark, brooding, artist-type 16 year-old me dreamed of marrying, I suppose you could say some of my dreams came true.  (He is handsome, hardworking, kind, and clever.  Plus, we danced at our wedding because Bill has rhythm!)   

While some of those youthful expectations were met, most have been shattered.

Shattered by the reality of who Bill is: a deeper, more wonderful soul than I ever thought possible.  Marriage certainly isn’t a picnic and we’ve had to work through things I never could have fathomed.  But true love has prevailed and it is stronger than candlelight and poetry.  The process of choosing that love has molded my character and altered the very core of who I am.

You could say the same thing about kids.  I mean, when my first child was a bump under a cute maternity top, I expected cooing and tiny fingers and skipping rocks and reading stories and soaring pride in her performance.  Instead I got crying and poop and spit-up, and sleep-depravation and damaged pride at her disobedience.  

While some of my pregnant dreams of motherhood have come true, most have been shattered—shattered by the reality of what motherhood really is: more wonderfully life-altering than I ever expected.  I thought I would have the job of raising up beautiful little humans.  Instead, those little humans have shaped my personality and nurtured a beauty deep within me. 

Expectations are rarely met.  More often, they are shattered and then exceeded. 

Followers of Christ thought they were getting a king who would bring peace and glory and lots of miracles.  (Luke 19: 37-38)  But instead of discussing politics and strategy with visiting diplomats, Jesus starts spouting off about dying wheat grains and service.  Not really what you expect to hear from a rising leader. (John 12: 20-26) 

People who were soaring with hope on the lilts of “Hosanna” were soon sinking into despair under the shadow of the cross.  All of their expectations were shattered…

until they were exceeded by the reality of who Jesus is.  They opened their eyes on the third day to find that death meant life and life was better than they had ever known.

So, go ahead, expect things of God—just be prepared for all your expectations to be shattered: burnt up in the refining fire and cut off in the pruning of your character.  Cry out in the suffering, which will inevitably come, but open your eyes on the dawn of a new day in which your expectations of who Jesus is are exceeded.  You’ll sense that true love is prevailing and altering the very core of who you are. 

Happy Easter!  

My dearest Father-in-law on the beach where the risen Jesus appeared to the apostles
and made them breakfast…something they probably never expected.