I literally smiled to myself just now as I reflected on the
sweet little clay pot my youngest daughter gave me—it’s one of those classic
hand-made pieces that will be saved forever. Right now it is in a place of honor on the windowsill over the
kitchen sink. Someday it may end
up in a dusty corner of the china cabinet, but it will never be thrown
away.
At the end of a day of cards and flowers and brunch and
hugs, you can’t help but feel like you are doing a good job, (even though the
nine year-old’s card read: “sometimes you loose your temper, but I love you
anyway”)…definitely room for improvement as a mom, am I right? Even with that
brutally honest line, the majority of sentiment from my girls and my husband
was that I rock at mothering.
And then, I read something that made my heart sink.
I follow an acquaintance of ours named Andrew on
Instagram. He wrote a lovely
tribute to his wife, Alison in which he said this:
“Our girls are seen, heard, and understood by the one soul
they spend the most time with.”
Awww, I thought to
myself, that’s so sweet.
And then, I thought about it a little too much.
Are MY girls seen and heard and understood by the soul they
spend the most time with?? Is that
soul even me? It should be, right? I’m their mother, I should see them and
hear them and understand them! But
what if I don’t? Heaven knows that
I don’t always listen perfectly to every single word they say. I wish I did, but I don’t ALWAYS. And do I really SEE them? Not just do I look up from whatever I
am doing when they enter the room, I mean, do I see what they are feeling? Plus, I’m
pretty sure that the older these girls of mine get, the less I’m going to understand them…I mean, we are talking
about future teenaged girls here.
Oh my gosh! I
better get on this “seeing, hearing and understanding” bit! Apparently mothering is WAY MORE than
birthing, breastfeeding, cooking, cleaning, clothing, stroller-pushing,
carpooling, hair-braiding, boo-boo kissing, lunch-making, sick-tending, cupcake-making,
sports/recital-watching, errand-running, story-reading, teaching, tutoring,
worrying, tucking-in, double-checking, providing batteries, sewing buttons,
fixing things, scheduling play-dates etc. etc. etc.
Yes, MORE than all of that!—As I discovered last night,
mothering is apparently:
Seeing
Hearing
AND
Understanding….AT THE SOUL LEVEL.
I read this sweet little shout-out by this good-intentioned
husband right before bed. My own
wonderful husband was snoozing.
The lights were out. I felt
very alone.
Does my soul see, hear, and understand my daughters??
My breathing grew shallow. I furrowed my brow.
There I sat at the end of a lovely day filled with so much
love and approval from my dear daughters, and yet, I was suddenly feeling like
a failure.
I finally fell asleep praying that I would somehow really
see, hear, and understand my precious children.
When I awoke, I was encouraged by Leviticus.
Yep, Leviticus.
It’s an Old Testament book in the Bible full of a plethora of laws about
sacrifices, food, and skin conditions.
Sounds fun, huh?
So, Leviticus in a nutshell is all about the laws for the
Levites—who were the priests for the nation of Israel. The priests were called to a SUPER-high
standard and were to carry out all the sacrifices, which would provide
atonement for the people. In fact,
all the people were commanded to be set apart, different, holy, CLEAN. The book covers (in detail) what things
are clean and unclean as well as what will make a person unclean.
(For example, if you touch a carcass of a swarming thing, you are
unclean.)
In chapter 11 of Leviticus, God tells them straight up His
reasoning behind all these detailed laws and rules about what to eat and not
eat and touch and not touch. The
bottom line is that He is commanding the people to be distinctive. The Israelites were to be a peculiar
people group—they were to stand out as very different from other nations and
tribes.
In order to be different—HOLY—they had to follow ALL of
these rules to the letter. And
when people messed up, the priests had to carefully perform the sacrifices just
right in order to cleanse the people and ensure atonement with God.
In short, it was quite a serious, huge ordeal to be the
people of God. But, that was the
point of the Law—to show the Israelites that they couldn’t do it. The law set the standard impossibly
high on purpose. What was that
purpose? To help the people
realize their need.
It was impossible for the people to be perfect and so they
would mess up and a sacrifice would be required in order to make the person
right before God again. That is
why the final, complete sacrifice of Jesus is so comforting and amazing.
Why did Leviticus bring encouragement to my mothering
heart?
Well, I pretty much feel like truly seeing, hearing, and
understanding my kids is next to impossible. I mean, all the daily tasks of motherhood can be exhausting,
but they (mostly) get carried out.
It’s this whole idea of my soul needing to understand my children that
has me feeling exceedingly needy.
Needy.
Imperfect.
Unclean.
Weak.
But God does not leave me here. He didn’t leave the Israelites fumbling in their
failings. He rescued them over and
over again and then finally sent THE Rescuer to save them (and us!) once and
for all.
My sin leaves me needing a savior.
My need keeps me leaning on Him.
And He is faithful to rescue even the smallest moments.
He saw me there alone in the dark. He heard my worried thoughts. He understood exactly what I needed and He provided just
that: a reminder of His deep and infinite knowledge of my soul and the souls of
my daughters. It is He who enables
me to mother well.
I feel challenged (thanks a lot, Andrew) to be intentional about seeing, hearing, and understanding my
girls, but God will strengthen me to do it!
I am not alone after all.
This really says it all.
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