The Time It Took Me Two Years to Finish Reading A Book

Yesterday I left my daughter’s middle school feeling a strange sense of joy and accomplishment.  Two years ago, I signed up to help tutor a fifth grade student who was in need of a little extra help with her reading and writing.  I’ll call her “M.”  I was very nervous at first because I didn’t know what the student would be like and I didn’t know if I would be of much help.  But, at least I only had to do reading instead of math.  (I’m pretty sure the student would know more about math than I do at this point.)

I didn’t need to be afraid.  M was the cutest, most compliant student you’ve ever seen.  She was definitely opinionated and funny, but she was really willing to try, try again and that is what I admired about her.

The woman in charge of the tutoring program recommended a book called “Elijah of Buxton.”  M had been reading Divergent and the woman thought that this book would have some of that same “thrill factor.”  The book did not disappoint!  We got into it right away.  The reading was slow going.  We alternated reading pages.  I’d read one page in approximately a minute and a half.  Then, sweet M would struggle through her page for the next 3-5 minutes. 

It was clear to me that one hour, one day a week of “tutoring” would not be enough to help M improve.  Fortunately, the teachers had recognized her struggles and were providing extra help for her other times during the week.  My “job” was simply to provide her with some guided practice and to help her comprehend what she was reading.  I asked questions from the curriculum and guided her through her timed writing prompts. 

By the time her 5^th grade year was coming to a close, we were nowhere near finished with the book.  Luckily, however, I could sign up to tutor her the following year and that’s just what I did.

This year, snow days and testing caused us to have to miss a lot of tutoring days.  But, as the year came to an end, we were very close to completing the book.  The last day of tutoring was supposed to be just a fun celebration day with doughnuts and fruit and chatting in the cafeteria.  However, M and I still had 12 more pages to go in our book.  We were determined to finish.

While M munched on her doughnut, I breezed through several pages of the story.  But, when she was finished eating, she announced that she could read now.  I glanced at the clock, worried that we wouldn’t have time to go at a slower pace. 

But, as she began to read, I was in awe.  Her reading was markedly improved.  She was using the right inflection for questions and pausing at the punctuation (two things she never used to do).  She also looked more confident in general.  She wasn’t hunched over her book, reading quietly with her finger pointing to the words.  Instead, she was sitting up straight and reading with definite poise and assurance. 

It was such an inspiring thing to witness. 

To be clear, I did not do this.  There is no way that my one hour a week improved her reading.  Instead, I am in awe of the teachers who worked with her more often and gave her professional guidance and help.  But, I was thrilled to be able to be the person there to let her practice her reading and writing a little bit.  It was easy to be a listener and an encourager. 

All I had to do was show up.

You know, I truly think that her reading and writing would have improved over the last two years without my involvement (the school really did a fantastic job helping her).  But, if I had not come to “tutor” her, I wouldn’t have been a part of it.  There wouldn’t be this outside person caring deeply, applauding her progress, and observing her radical improvement.  It would have been like an Olympic ice-skater  completing a perfect Salchow jump  without a single witness. 

What an honor to get to participate in such a wonderful achievement. 

We snapped a selfie in celebration of finishing the book.  What I loved most is that M started off not comprehending many of the concepts in the book, but grew to really understanding what happened in the story.  We both cried a little at the ending, but it couldn’t stop us from grinning at our triumphal, last-minute finish.

I waved a happy goodbye to my little charge and headed out the door to my car, feeling all the warm, fuzzy feelings of a “job” well-done.  But I marveled at how easy my job had been.  That’s when I saw Jill in the parking lot.  She’s a singer/song-writer and she also tutors on Thursday just like I do.  I greeted her before getting in my car.  But, seeing her brought to mind a song she wrote that perfectly expresses, (as all good songs do,) my feelings regarding my year of “tutoring.” 

The song talks about how the needs and tasks in the world are so many that we often feel completely overwhelmed and paralyzed…”we think about so much and do nothing at all…afraid that what we have to give is so small.”

But! the chorus says:

You don’t have to save the world,

All that hero talk is only superficial stuff

If you want to change the world,

What you gotta do is show up…show up…just show up.

Then the song loosely quotes Mother Theresa when Jill sings:

No great things have I done

No great things have I done

Only small things with great love

So, if you are feeling like there is too much pain/need/hurt/want/ in the world for you to make a difference, I suggest you take the first step and show up.  Even if it’s a small thing, it’s better than doing nothing. 

And what will you get for showing up?  Well, in this case, you’ll get a doughnut, a great story, a hand-written note that is extremely precious since it has zero mistakes (which is truly amazing in this case) and the pure joy of watching one of the most beautiful, yet subtle achievements of all time.